Gnoming it up!
The Pro Gnomers Guide To Garden Gnomes!
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Most of us have glimpsed them at one time or another, peeking out from behind a large toadstool or leaning unobtrusively on a rake well back in the bushes: stout little fellows with white beards, clad in old fashioned clothing and red conical hats, looking like Santa Claus might if he were less than a foot tall. They're the Wee Folk, the people we know collectively as gnomes. When it comes to quiet shyness, they make Hobbits look like Morris dancers -- under ordinary circumstances. Unfortunately, you'll sometimes see a tacky garden filled with vulgar numbers of gnomes in all sorts of embarrassing positions; you may even see some poor gnome forced to the indignity of mooning the world! These situations are about as representative of true gnome behavior as the Luxor in Vegas is representative of a real Egyptian pyramid. Under ordinary circumstances, quality garden gnomes would never stoop to such behavior. When you see atrocities like these, you can be sure that the gnomes involved were coerced into situations completely antithetical to gnome nature.
Fortunately, most gnome-keepers respect gnomes for their quiet nature, their affinity for plant life, and the good luck they bring when properly treated. The purpose of this guide is to fill you in on the details of gnome life, behavior, origins and society before you create your own gnome-friendly garden environment. Few people realized that there are many thousands of gnomes waiting patiently for the appropriate environments to appear, whether in out-of-the-way gardens, on small farms, and in peaceful homes. Are you ready to let a few gnomes into your life? Don't worry -- they don't take up much room, and they'll be ever so grateful!
Table of Contents
Part One: Famous German Garden Gnomes: Origins of the Wee Folk
Part Two: Cute Garden Gnomes and other Woodland Gnome Ancestors
Part Three: Gnomes Enemies: A Rogues Gallery of Trolls & Goblins!
Part Four: Why Gnomes Mean Good Luck & Other Folklore
Part Five: Why Your Garden or Home Needs Gnomes
Part Six: Why Fairy Doors & Gnome Doors Aren't Yours to Close!
Part Seven: Kidnapped Garden Gnomes - Fun or Felony?!
Part Eight: PhenomeGnomes
Part Nine: Naughty Garden Gnomes, Underpants Gnomes & More!
Part Ten: Hollywood Gnomes
Part Eleven: Free the Garden Gnomes! Adoption, Domestication, or Slavery? You decide!
On to part one :: Origins of the Wee Folk